a womans face in the middle left half is youn right side is old. There are watches floating in the air, with graduation hat and books
Life

Lazy Summer Fades, Reality Sets In: Back To Everyday Life

Laaawd… tomorrow is back to the everyday struggle again. Getting the young guy to school (which is normally a struggle to get him out in time), getting him to do his homework, getting him to practice for his music lessons, getting, getting myself to school, doing my own homework, and going to work… Thinking about all this makes me want to just stay in bed. šŸ˜©

I canā€™t believe Iā€™ve rounded the big 50s, but I still feel the same… lol. I feel like Iā€™m in my late 20s, early 30s, but I sure donā€™t look it anymore. I donā€™t believe people who say I look younger than my age because when I look in the mirror, all I see is a beginning prune… lol.

Nevertheless, I keep going for my dream… itā€™s been how many years Iā€™ve been trying now… lol. My ADHD brain just canā€™t seem to focus. I am sooooo tired of school but never get tired of the internet. šŸ˜…

The weight of lifeā€™s daily grind can feel overwhelming sometimes, like Iā€™m stuck on a hamster wheel that never stops. Every morning is the same routine: dragging the little guy out of bed, reminding him for the millionth time to brush his teeth, then racing against the clock to make it out the door before the school bell rings. And just when I think Iā€™ve managed to pull it off, the day has only just begun. Next, thereā€™s homework to tackleā€”both his and mineā€”and the constant nagging about music practice. Donā€™t even get me started on the struggle to stay on top of my own schoolwork. Balancing work, school, and motherhood is like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle. Some days, itā€™s a miracle I donā€™t just tip over.šŸ”„

But hereā€™s the thing: despite the exhaustion, the endless to-do lists, and the feeling like Iā€™m always running on empty, Iā€™m still here. Iā€™m still showing up. Thereā€™s something deep inside that keeps pushing me forward, even when I want to wave the white flag and hide under the covers for a week.

Itā€™s funny how time works. My mind feels like itā€™s stuck somewhere in my 20s, but my body is shouting, ā€œHey, weā€™re in our 50s now! Slow down!ā€ The reflection staring back at me in the mirror tells a different storyā€”a story of late nights, laughter, tears, and the relentless passage of time. But those little laugh lines and that ā€œpruneā€ look? Theyā€™re proof that Iā€™ve lived, that Iā€™ve loved, and that Iā€™ve survived it all, even when life got messy.

Sure, thereā€™s that tiny voice in the back of my head that wonders if I shouldā€™ve given up on my dreams by now. Maybe Iā€™m chasing after something thatā€™s just out of reach. But then again, whatā€™s life without a little bit of chasing? My ADHD might make focus a daily battle, but it also makes life colorful, unpredictable, and just a tad bit chaotic. Itā€™s why Iā€™m always daydreaming, always finding new ideas, even if I struggle to see them through. And yes, school is exhaustingā€”sometimes it feels like Iā€™ve been at it foreverā€”but Iā€™m still here, arenā€™t I? Thereā€™s a stubbornness in me that refuses to let go of the goals I set years ago. And as tiring as it all is, thereā€™s a part of me that loves the chaos, loves the internet, loves the constant buzz of a mind that never quite sits still.

So, here I am, standing at the edge of another week, looking at the mountain I have to climb, and wondering how on earth Iā€™m going to do it all over again. But I know that I will. Iā€™ll find the energy, the drive, the humor to keep going, because thatā€™s what Iā€™ve always done. And even when it feels like Iā€™m not making any progress, I know deep down that every step, every stumble, every day spent juggling all the roles I playā€”itā€™s all adding up to something. I might not see it yet, but itā€™s there, slowly taking shape.

Maybe one day, Iā€™ll finally achieve that dream Iā€™ve been chasing for years. Or maybe, just maybe, Iā€™ll look back and realize that the dream wasnā€™t the goal, but the journey itselfā€”filled with laughter, tears, and a whole lot of living. So, prune or not, Iā€™ll keep going. Because thatā€™s what I do. Thatā€™s what we all do. šŸ’Ŗ

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